How to Become a Rainmaker: The Rules For Getting and Keeping Customers and Clients by Jeffrey J Fox

How to Become a Rainmaker: The Rules For Getting and Keeping Customers and Clients by Jeffrey J Fox

My version of the book is

About the Book:-
* Hardcover: 192 pages
* Publisher: Hyperion (May 17, 2000)
* Language: English
* ISBN-10: 0786865954
* ISBN-13: 978-0786865956

Firnando Chau Review

The content of this book is categorised as follow:-
Acknowledgement
Introduction
I The Rainmaker's Cred
II Always Answer the Question, "Why Should This Customer Do Business With Us?"
III Obey Marketing's First Commandment
IV Customers Don't Care About You
V  Always Precall Plan Every Sales Call
VI Fish Where the Big Fish Are
VII Show Them the Money!
VIII Earthquakes Don't Count
IX Killer Sales Question #1
X Always Take the Best Seat in a Restaurant
XI Don't Drink Coffee on a Sales Call
XII You're Not at Lunch to Eat Lunch
XIII Never Wear a Pen in Your Shirt Pocket
XIV Killer Sales Question #2
XV Rainmakers Turn Customer Objections into Customer Objectives
XVI Always Make a "Mid-Job, Next-Job" Recommendation
XVII Treat Everybody You Meet as a Potential Client
XVIII Heed the Biggest Buy Signal
XIX Killer Sales Question #3
XX Always Return Every Call Every Day
XXI Learn the "Miles Per Gallon" of Selling
XXII Beware the Myth of Time and Territory Management
XXIII Always Taste the Wine Before a Wine Tasting
XXIV Dare to Be Dumb
XXV Always Do an Investment Return Analsyis
XXVI Never Forget: Everybody is Somebody's Somebody
XXVII Always Be on "High Receive"
XXVIII "Onionize"
XXIX If You Don't Care About the Answer, Don't Ask the Question
XXX Never Be in a Meeting
XXXI Present for Show, Close for Dough
XXXII Advice to a Baby-Sitter
XXXIII Killer Sales Question #4
XXXIV Give and Get
XXXV Sell on Friday Afternoons
XXXVI "Break the Ice" at the End of the Sales Call
XXXVII Use the Point System Every Day
XXXVIII A Shot on Goal Is Never a Bad Play
XXXIX Don't Make Cold Calls
XL Show the Chain, Sell the First Link
XLI Don't Talk with Food in Your Mouth
XLII Killer Sales Question #5
XLIII Love Voice Mail
XLIV Park in the Back
XLV Be the Best-Dressed Person You Will Meet Today
XLVI Why Breakfast Meetings Bring Rain
XLVII "Her's My Card..."
XLVIII Killer Sales Question #6
XLIX Ten Things to do Today to Get Business
L How to Recognize a Rainmaker
The Rainmaker Extra: How to Dollarize
A Case Study: Mr. K.
Epilogue

--

Amazon.com Review


About the Book

Filled with smart tips given in the Fox signature style, counter- intuitive, controversial, and practiced, this hard-hitting collection of sales advice shows readers how to woo, pursue, and finally win any customer. In witty, succinct chapters, Fox offers surprising, daring, and totally practical wisdom that will help readers rise above the competition in any company in any field. A terrific resource for CEOs, as well as anyone looking to distinguish themselves in salesbe it books, cars, or real estateHow to Become a Rainmaker offers the opportunity to rise above the competition in any company, in any field.

From Booklist Review

This is an afternoon read, pure and simple. And chances are good that once readers accept Fox's hard-hitting yet commonsense approaches, they'll accept his sales process, which applies, by the way, to selling widgets, promoting intangible services, or selling yourself. Every one of the author's 50 two-page to four-page chapters contains just one nugget of information more than the preceding section, enough to keep the momentum and the attention. A sad story about the hazards of drinking coffee (it spilled--and the prospect was then distracted by a second crisis) is followed by a notice not to eat a major meal during a sales lunch, which is promptly followed by "no pen in the shirt pocket" advice. Fox's seemingly disparate hints and tips, in short, comprise a very logical and memorable way of rainmaking, and a short tome that will show anyone the how-tos. Barbara Jacobs
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
 
"the best book on selling I've seen. Period." -- Gerald Sindell, President, Publishing Consulting Services.

About the Author

Jeffrey Fox founded Fox & Company, Inc., a marketing consulting firm, in 1982. Client engagements include marketing strategy, innovation enhancement, selling skills training, branding, and various applications of a proprietary methodology called “dollarization.” Prior to starting Fox & Co. Jeffrey was Vice-President, Marketing and a Corporate Vice President of Loctite Corporation. He was also Director of Marketing for the wine division of The Pillsbury Co., and held various senior level marketing jobs at Heublein, Inc., including Director of New Products. Jeffrey is the winner of "Sales & Marketing Management" magazine’s Outstanding Marketer Award; winner of the American Marketing Association’s Outstanding Marketer in Connecticut; and the National Industrial Distributors award as the Nation’s Best Industrial Marketer. 

He is the subject of a Harvard Business School case study that is rated one of the top 100 case studies and is thought to be the most widely taught marketing case in the world. Jeffrey graduated from Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut, and earned his MBA from Harvard Business School. He served as Trustee of Trinity College, and has won several alumni awards including Person of the Year. He is a member of the Board of Directors of Saint Francis Hospital, one of the nation’s top 100 hospitals. Jeff is the author of How to Become CEO, which was on the NY Times, Business Week, Wall Street Journal, Knight-Ridder, Amazon.com, and German best seller lists. The book is published in twenty-five languages and in all the major countries of Western Europe, Asia, and South America. Jeff’s second book, How To Become A Rainmaker was also a BusinessWeek and Wall Street Journal best seller, and is being published worldwide. His third book Don’t Send A Resume, published in May of 2001, is a contrarian approach to marketing onese

The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution by Richard Dawkins

• Perfect Paperback: 470 pages (September 22, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0593061748
• ISBN-13: 978-0593061749
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds

The book is divided into 13 chapters spanning over 400 pages, and includes an appendix called "The History-Deniers" in the end material.

1. Only a Theory? (Nature of scientific theory and fallibility)
2. Dogs, Cows and Cabbages (Artificial Selection)
3. The Primrose Path to Macro-Evolution
4. Silence and Slow Time (Discusses the Age of the Earth and the Geological Time Scale)
5. Before Our Very Eyes (Examples of Evolution Observed)
6. Missing link? What do you mean, 'Missing'? (the fossil record)
7. Missing persons? Missing no longer (Human Evolution)
8. You did it yourself in nine months (a statement attributed to J. B. S. Haldane; discusses developmental biology)
9. The ark of the continents (biogeography and plate tectonics)
10. The tree of cousinship (the tree of life, homology and analogy)
11. History written all over us (vestigiality and unintelligent design)
12. Arms races and 'evolutionary theodicy' (coevolution and evolutionary arms races)
13. There is grandeur in this view of life (based on the final passage of On the Origin of Species)

From Publishers Weekly

SignatureReviewed by Jonah LehrerRichard Dawkins begins The Greatest Show on Earth with a short history of his writing career. He explains that all of his previous books have naïvely assumed the fact of evolution, which meant that he never got around to laying out the evidence that it [evolution] is true. This shouldn't be too surprising: science is an edifice of tested assumptions, and just as physicists must assume the truth of gravity before moving on to quantum mechanics, so do biologists depend on the reality of evolution. It's the theory that makes every other theory possible.Yet Dawkins also came to realize that a disturbingly large percentage of the American and British public didn't share his enthusiasm for evolution. In fact, they actively abhorred the idea, since it seemed to contradict the Bible and diminish the role of God. So Dawkins decided to write a book for these history-deniers, in which he would dispassionately demonstrate the truth of evolution beyond sane, informed, intelligent doubt.After only a few pages of The Greatest Show on Earth, however, it becomes clear that Dawkins doesn't do dispassionate, and that he's not particularly interested in convincing believers to believe in evolution. He repeatedly compares creationists and Holocaust deniers, which is a peculiar way of reaching out to the other side. Elsewhere, Dawkins calls those who don't subscribe to evolution ignorant, fatuously ignorant and ridiculous. All of which raises the point: who, exactly, is supposed to read this book? Is Dawkins preaching to the choir or trying to convert the uninformed? While The Greatest Show on Earth might fail as a work of persuasive rhetoric—Dawkins is too angry and acerbic to convince his opponents—it succeeds as an encyclopedic summary of evolutionary biology. If Charles Darwin walked into a 21st-century bookstore and wanted to know how his theory had fared, this is the book he should pick up.Dawkins remains a superb translator of complex scientific concepts. It doesn't matter if he's spinning metaphors for the fossil record (like a spy camera in a murder trial) or deftly explaining the method by which scientists measure the genetic difference between distinct species: he has a way of making the drollest details feel like a revelation. Even if one already believes in the survival of the fittest, there is something thrilling about learning that the hoof of a horse is homologous to the fingernail of the human middle finger, or that some dinosaurs had a second brain of ganglion cells in their pelvis, which helped compensate for the tiny brain in their head. As Darwin famously noted, There is grandeur in this view of life. What Dawkins demonstrates is that this view of life isn't just grand: it's also undeniably true. Color illus. (Sept. 29)Jonah Lehrer is the author of How We Decide and Proust Was a Neuroscientist.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Bookmarks Magazine

"Like a detective reconstructing a crime" (San Francisco Chronicle), Dawkins amasses a mountain of evidence in this richly illustrated, enormously readable explanation of the theory of evolution. Though Dawkins may have softened his attitude toward those who can reconcile their religious beliefs with evolution, he still harbors great hostility toward its detractors, equating them to Holocaust deniers—a label that riled the New York Times Book Review. Objecting to Dawkins's abrasive dogmatism, many critics felt that the biologist is at his best when he forgets his opponents and focuses on the science. He is indeed a master of explaining complex scientific ideas to nonscientific readers, and though The Greatest Show on Earth may not be his best book, it is a well-written, captivating review of the science behind the theory.

Review

“Brilliant, detailed, anecdotal and immensely readable . . . Poignant, revealing. Dawkins is canny, funny, and beguiling . . . [He lays] out evidence with such fascinating detail that the book is both scientifically exciting and completely convincing. It's badly needed in this era when the science of evolution is being threatened in our schools.”—San Francisco Chronicle


“Unambiguous, beautifully argued, with prose like quicksilver. Entertaining. Dawkins emerges like a prize-fighter, knocking out of the ring all objections.”
—Nature 

"This is a magnificent book of wonderstanding: Richard Dawkins combines an artist's wonder at the virtuosity of nature with a scientist's understanding of how it comes to be.'' -- Matt Ridley, author of Nature via Nurture

"'There is grandeur in this view of life,' said Darwin, speaking of evolution. There is no one better qualified to convey this grandeur than his worthy successor, Richard Dawkins, who writes with passion, clarity, and wit. This may be his best book yet." -- V. S. Ramachandran

"To call this book a defense of evolution utterly misses the point: The Greatest Show on Earth is a celebration of one of the best ideas humans have ever produced. It is hard not to marvel at Richard Dawkins's luminous telling of the story of evolution and the way that it has shaped our world. In reading Dawkins, one is left awed at the beauty of the theory and humbled by the power of science to understand some of the greatest mysteries of life." -- Neil Shubin, author of Your Inner Fish

"Up until now, Richard Dawkins has said everything interesting that there is to say about evolution -- with one exception. In The Greatest Show on Earth, he fills this gap, brilliantly describing the multifarious and massive evidence for evolution -- evidence that gives the lie to the notion that evolution is 'only a theory.' This important and timely book is a must-read for Darwin Year." -- Jerry Coyne, author of Why Evolution Is True

"This is the book Richard Dawkins needed to write and many need to read -- a comprehensive account of evolution that faces the difficulties and questions his critics have raised. In it he draws on his great ability to write about science in a way that is clear, absorbing, and vivid." -- Lord Harries of Pentregarth (formerly Bishop Richard Harries)

"With characteristic flair and passion, Dawkins has put on a stunning exhibition of the evidence for evolution. In his own words, 'Evolution is a fact...and no unbiased reader will close the book doubting it.'" -- Dr. Alice Roberts, biological anthropologist, author, and broadcaster

"'...he is an awesome thinker, a superb writer whose explanatory skills I envy, who dismisses his opponents with the thoroughness of a top silk'....A beautifully crafted and intelligible rebuttal of creationism and intelligent design." -- The Times

"Dawkins gathers up the weight of evidence into a huge lump and hurls it at us from the highest heights his rhetoric can scale...his grandness of vision still dazzles." -- The Sunday Telegraph

Product Description

In 2008, a Gallup poll showed that 44 percent of Americans believed God had created man in his present form within the last 10,000 years. In a Pew Forum poll in the same year, 42 percent believed that all life on earth has existed in its present form since the beginning of time.
In 1859 Charles Darwin's masterpiece, On the Origin of Species, shook society to its core. Darwin was only too aware of the storm his theory of evolution would provoke. But he surely would have raised an incredulous eyebrow at the controversy still raging a century and a half later. Evolution is accepted as scientific fact by all reputable scientists and indeed theologians, yet millions of people continue to question its veracity. Now the author of the iconic work The God Delusion takes them to task.

The Greatest Show on Earth is a stunning counterattack on advocates of "Intelligent Design," explaining the evidence for evolution while exposing the absurdities of the creationist "argument." Dawkins sifts through rich layers of scientific evidence: from living examples of natural selection to clues in the fossil record; from natural clocks that mark the vast epochs wherein evolution ran its course to the intricacies of developing embryos; from plate tectonics to molecular genetics. Combining these elements and many more, he makes the airtight case that "we find ourselves perched on one tiny twig in the midst of a blossoming and flourishing tree of life and it is no accident, but the direct consequence of evolution by non-random selection."

The Greatest Show on Earth comes at a critical time: systematic opposition to the fact of evolution is menacing as never before. In American schools, and in schools around the world, insidious attempts are made to undermine the status of science in the classroom. Dawkins wields a devastating argument against this ignorance, but his unjaded passion for the natural world turns what might have been a negative argument into a positive offering to the reader: nothing less than a master's vision of life, in all its splendor.

About the Author

Richard Dawkins is a world-renowned evolutionary biologist and author.  He is a Fellow of the Royal Society and, until recently, held the Charles Simonyi Chair of Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University. His first book, The Selfish Gene, was an instant international bestseller, and has become an established classic work of modern evolutionary biology. He is also the author of The Blind Watchmaker, River Out of Eden, Climbing Mount Improbable, Unweaving the Rainbow, A Devil's Chaplain, The Ancestor's Tale, and most recently,The God Delusion.

DAVID MCKEAN has illustrated many award winning comics and books, including The Big Fat Duck Cookbook (Heston Blumenthal), What's Welsh For Zen (John Cale), Varjak Paw (SF Said), The Savage and Slog’s Dad (David Almond), Arkham Asylum (Grant Morrison), The Homecoming (Ray Bradbury), Wizard and Glass (Stephen King), The Graveyard Book, Wolves in the Walls, Coraline, Mr. Punch, Signal to Noise and Crazy Hair (all by Neil Gaiman).

He has written and illustrated the graphic novel Cages and short story collection Pictures That Tick, and is working on a new novel (Caligaro) and second volume of short stories.
He has designed and illustrated well over a hundred cd covers for artists as diverse as Michael Nyman, Rolling Stones, John Cale, Alice Cooper, Bill Laswell, Bill Buford, Counting Crows, Iain Ballamy, Tori Amos and Frontine Assembly.

He has designed a Broadway Musical (Lestat), creatures for the Harry Potter films, advertising campaigns for Kodak, Nike, Smirnoff, BMWMini and the British Government, and exhibited in Europe, America and Japan.

From AudioFile

All except the woefully informed accept that evolution is a fact, maintains author Richard Dawkins. In scientific language peppered with trivial asides and occasional British slang, he mounts a credible attack on the creationists. Dawkins generates a modern argument for evolution by citing genetic experiments and evidence from the fossil record. He also includes side discussions of supporting subjects such as natural clocks, embryology, and molecular structure. The author and Lalla Ward narrate in relay, taking turns with phrases and paragraphs. The distracting effect of dueling voices strains the continuity in this demanding nonfiction audio. In their praise, the pair's perfect enunciation and appropriate pace allow listeners to readily absorb the abundant facts and figures. J.A.H. © AudioFile 2009, Portland, Maine

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Nov 3, 2009)

Firnando Chau Review



Hardcover: 320 pages
Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reissue edition (November 3, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1439167346
ISBN-13: 978-1439167342


Amazon.com Review


This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
From an era when 'self-help' books had genuine depth, Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has influenced the world. No book in the self-help category matters more than this one.


Learning to relate to people in the ways Carnegie instructs will help you personally as well as professionally.


This book is a classic because Carnegie teaches timeless truths in timeless ways.


About the Book


How to Win Friends and Influence People is the first, and still the finest, book of its kind. One of the best-known motivational books in history, Dale Carnegie's groundbreaking work has sold millions of copies, has been translated into almost every known written language, and has helped countless people succeed in both their business and personal lives.
First published in 1937, Carnegie's advice has remained relevant for generations because he addresses timeless questions about the fine art of getting along with people: How can you make people like you instantly? How can you persuade people to agree with you? How can you speak frankly to people without giving offense? The ability to read others and successfully navigate any social situation is critically important to those who want to get a job, keep a job, or simply expand their social network.


The core principles of this book, originally written as a practical, working handbook on human relations, are proven effective. Carnegie explains the fundamentals of handling people with a positive approach; how to make people like you and want to help you; how to win people to your way of thinking without conflict; and how to be the kind of leader who inspires quality work, increased productivity, and high morale.


As Carnegie explains, the majority of our success in life depends on our ability to communicate and manage personal relationships effectively, whether at home or at work. How to Win Friends and Influence People will help you discover and develop the people skills you need to live well and prosper.


About the Author


Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) described himself as a "simple country boy" from Missouri but was also a pioneer of the self-improvement genre. Since the 1936 publication of his first book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he has touched millions of readers and his classic works continue to impact lives to this day.

Real Life by Phil McGraw

Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life by Phil McGraw

Firnando Chau Review


Table of Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter 1: Prep Talk
Chapter 2: Attitude of Approach
Chapter 3: Stress – The Days Between the Peaks and the Valleys
Chapter 4: Loss – The Day Your Heart Is Shattered
Chapter 5: Fear – The Day You Realize You Have Lived Your Life as a Sellout
Chapter 6: Adaptability Breakdown – The Day You Realize You are in Way Over Your Head
Chapter 7: Health – The Day the Body Breaks Down
Chapter 8: Mental Health – The Day the Mind Breaks Down
Chapter 9: Addiction – The Day Addiction Takes Over
Chapter 10: Existential Crisis – The Day You Have Lost Your Purpose and Have No Answer to the Question “Why?”
Chapter 11: The Next Step
Appendix A
Appendix B
Appendix C
Notes
Resource Guide

Paperback: 336 pages
Publisher: Free Press; Reprint edition (September 15, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1439131562
ISBN-13: 978-1439131565


Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life - Paperback (Sept. 15, 2009) by Dr. Phil McGraw


What if you could see around the corners of your life? Wouldn't it help to know what the most challenging days of your life would be like BEFORE they hit?


There are certain days in life that stand out because they are among the toughest that you or someone you love will experience. Your quality of life and your experience on the journey through this world are a function of how you handle these days when they arrive. Will you be ready? Will you be strong? Will you survive and be better for it, or will you cave?


In Real Life: Preparing for the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life, bestselling author and talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw is here to help you prepare to confront what he believes are the seven most common critical days that you or a loved one are likely to face. This book helps make it possible for you to be there for yourself or to be the calm in the middle of the storm for someone you love when any of these difficult days arrive.


Loss -- the day that you or someone you love has their heart shattered by death, divorce, or losing something of great value.
Fear -- the day that you realize you have lived your life as a sellout and that every choice you have made up until this point was dictated by other people's expectations, not based on your own goals and desires.
Adaptability Breakdown -- the day that the pressures of balancing your responsibilities and needs, along with life's demands, have become way too overwhelming, and you realize that you are in way over your head.
Physical Health -- the day that your body or that of someone you love breaks down because of illness, trauma, or disease.
Mental Health -- the day that the mind breaks down and betrays you or someone you love.
Addiction -- the day that addiction takes over, and you or your loved one look a powerful destroyer in the face and realize that you are not in control.
Existential Crisis -- the day that you or someone you love lose the purpose, compass, and connection to meaning in life and have no answer to the question "Why?"
Encountering these days can feel like hitting a brick wall. But while they will change your life, they do not have to ruin it. Dr. Phil's step-by-step plan for getting through the worst days is designed to help you feel prepared when it really matters -- in the midst of a crisis. Dr. Phil provides wisdom and resources that will guide you toward a solution that is right for you, showing you how to minimize disruption and maximize the recovery.


This book is not just about giving you a crisis-mode plan. It will also show you how to change your life now, before you get into a crisis, so that you are not behind the power curve when any of the seven days hit. You will be able to be a leader to someone you love during their crisis because you will know what to do. Dr. Phil says there are no exceptions: with the right attitude and the right information, every challenging day can be turned into a valuable life experience.


About the Author


Dr. Phil Mcgraw is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Ultimate Weight Solution, Self Matters, Life Strategies, and Relationship Rescue. He is the host of the nationally syndicated, daily one-hour series Dr. Phil. One of the world's foremost experts in the field of human functioning, Dr. McGraw is the cofounder of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., the world's leading litigation consulting firm. Dr. McGraw currently lives in Los Angeles, California, with his wife and two sons.



--Start--

Chapter 1: Prep Talk

1.1. Real Life Brings Real Problems

• Monsters Live in the Dark

1.2. The 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life

1.2.1. The Day Your Heart Is Shattered

1.2.2. The Day You Realize You Have Lived Your Life as a Sellout

1.2.3. The Day You Realize You are in Way Over Your Head

1.2.4. The Day the Body Breaks Down

1.2.5. The Day the Mind Breaks Down

1.2.6. The Day Addiction Takes Over

1.2.7. The Day You Have Lost Your Purpose and Have No Answer to the Question “Why?”

1.3. Life Is Not A Success-Only Journey

1.4. Hold Your Head Up

Chapter 2: Attitude of Approach

• In the Eye of the Beholder

• Challenge your thoughts on a regular basis and make sure they can pass this four-point test:

i. Is the thought or belief a true fact?

ii. Does the thought or belief serve your best interest?

iii. Does the thought or belief protect and prolong your health?

iv. Does the thought or belief get you what you want?

2.1. Prioritizing Consistent with a Healthy Attitude of Approach

2.1.1. Living with Perspective

2.1.2. Words Are Very Powerful Because You Believe What You Say to Yourself

2.1.3. Do Not Give Your Power Away

2.1.4. Accountability Counts

2.2. Take Action

2.3. Your Attitude Can Change Your Life

Chapter 3: Stress – The Days Between the Peaks and the Valleys

3.1. What is a Stressor?

3.2. What is Stress?

3.2.1. Your Body on Stress

3.3. The Stress Index

3.4. Social Disconnection Stresses

3.5. Performance Stresses

3.6. Pessimistic Stresses

3.6.1. The Velocity of Life 

3.7. Assessing Your Stress

3.8. Stress-Fighting Strategies

3.8.1. Conscientiously Manage Your Reactions

3.8.2. Exercise Regularly

3.8.3. Practice Relaxation techniques such as Visualisation and Progressive Muscle Relaxation 

3.8.4. Breathe Deeply at least Once a Day

3.8.5. Repeat a Powerful Affirmation to Yourself Several Times Daily

3.8.6. Avoid Excessive Amounts of Alcohol, Caffeine, Fats and Sugar

3.8.7. Get High-Quality Sleep

3.8.8. Acknowledge and Celebrate a Goal You’ve Accomplished at least Once a Week

3.8.9. Laugh at least Once a Day

3.8.10. Take a Hot Bath

3.8.11. Recognize What You Can Control and What You Can’t

3.9. Final Thought

Chapter 4: Loss – The Day Your Heart Is Shattered

4.1. What Is Loss?

4.1.1. Doing Your Best to Prepare for the Worst

4.1.2. Violated Expectations

4.1.3. And Then It was My Turn…

4.1.4. More than One Way to Lose

4.2. What to Expect

4.2.1. Loss from Death

4.2.1.1. Getting Distracted

4.2.2. Loss from Divorce

4.2.3. Losses Comes in Many Forms

4.3. Getting Back to Better Days

4.3.1. Action Steps

4.3.1.1. Adjust Your Expectations

4.3.1.2. Accept What You Cannot Change

4.3.1.3. Find Strength in Others

4.3.1.4. Don’t Get Stuck

4.3.1.5. Recognize that time is finite

4.3.1.6. Create value from this experience

4.3.1.7. Think about how you will prepare for your own death when you’re in calm waters

4.3.1.8. Celebrate Life

4.4. Final Thought

Chapter 5: Fear – The Day You Realize You Have Lived Your Life as a Sellout

5.1. What is A Fear-Dominated Life?

5.1.1. Signs of a Fear-Dominated “Authenticity” Breakdown

5.1.2. Fake It to Make It

5.1.3. What I Fear, I Create

5.2. What to Expect

5.2.1. Fear Audit: Identifying Your Fears

5.3. Getting Back to Better Days

5.3.1. Action Steps

5.3.1.1. Find “True North” for Your Life (Decide What You Really Care About)

5.3.1.2. Examine Where you are now (how far off course are you?)

5.3.1.3. Make a life decision

5.3.1.4. Be True to Yourself

5.3.1.5. Make it Happen (Make Yourself Accountable With A Plan)

5.3.1.6. Acknowledge your fears

5.3.2. Challenge Your Irrational Fears

5.3.2.1. Set Yourself Up for Success (Maintain Your Newfound Freedom)

5.3.2.2. Know that You’re Not Alone

5.4. Final Thought

Chapter 6: Adaptability Breakdown – The Day You Realize You are in Way Over Your Head

• Adapt-Ability

• How Stable Is Your Foundation?

6.1. What is an Adaptability Breakdown?

6.2. What to Expect

6.2.1. How Cognitively Flexible Are You?

6.3. Getting Back to Better Days

6.3.1. Action Steps

6.3.1.1. Do a “Situation Autopsy”

6.3.1.2. Confront Your Myths

6.3.1.3. Conquer the Present

6.3.1.4. Redefine Success

6.3.1.5. Don’t Try to Solve Money Problems with Money

6.3.1.6. Find Positive Influences

6.4. Final Thought

Chapter 7: Health – The Day the Body Breaks Down

7.1. What Does a Health Crisis Involve?

7.2. What to Expect

7.2.1. Asking Why

7.2.2. Losing Your Balance

7.2.3. I don’t Remember Signing Up for This…

7.2.4. Managed Not Cured

7.3. Getting Back to Better Days

7.3.1. Action Steps

7.3.1.1. Identify Your Health Perception

7.3.1.1.1. Internal Health Perception

7.3.1.1.2. External Health Perception

7.3.1.1.3. Chance Health Perception

7.3.1.2. Make A Plan

7.3.1.3. Create a Health Team

7.3.1.4. Get Your Thinking Right

7.3.1.5. Start Taking Better Care of Yourself Now

7.3.1.6. Focus on The Positive

7.4. Final Thought

Chapter 8: Mental Health – The Day the Mind Breaks Down
• Down the Rabbit Hole
• The Scarlet Letter
8.1. What is a Mental Health Breakdown?
8.1.1. When “Speeding Up” Results in Breaking Down
8.1.2. Blowing Up the Myths
8.1.3. Five Myths about Mental Illnesses
Myth 1: People who are mentally ill are dangerous or violent
Myth 2: People who have a mental disorder are less intelligent than those who don’t
Myth 3: Most Mentally Ill People end up Poor and on the streets because they can’t hold a job
Myth 4: People with mental illness have some kind of character deficiency or moral weakness
Myth 5: Mental Illness is a life sentence
8.2. What to Expect
• Mood Disturbances
8.2.1. “Normal” versus Clinical Depression
8.2.2. What Causes Depression
8.2.3. How It Feels: Life, Interrupted
8.2.4. The Other Side of Depression
8.2.5. Leah’s Story
• Anxiety Disorder
8.2.6. Anxiety versus Fear
8.2.7. The Many Faces of Anxiety Disorder
• Severe Mental Disorders
8.2.8. What Causes This Type of Mental Illness?
8.3. Getting Back to Better Days
8.3.1. Don’ts
8.3.1.1. Don’t become a slave to a label
8.3.1.2. Don’t’ take drugs from anyone except your doctor
8.3.1.3. Don’t’ feel guilty
8.3.1.4. Don’t’ consider mental illness as a moral issues
8.3.1.5. Don’t’ shun a person with mental illness
8.3.2. Do’s:
8.3.2.1. Do Seek psychotherapy and counselling
8.3.2.2. Do Talk to your doctor about medication
8.3.2.3. Do identify de-stressing activities that enhance self-care
8.3.2.4. Do support creative, constructive activities that enhance self-worth
8.3.2.5. Do express interest in others
8.3.2.6. Do break a sweat
8.3.2.7. Do explore or ask your therapist about media and art therapy
8.3.2.8. Do learn to breathe correctly
8.3.2.9. Do explore desensitization
8.3.2.10. Do Change your internal dialogue
8.3.2.11. Do try journaling
8.4. Final Thought


Chapter 9: Addiction – The Day Addiction Takes Over
9.1. What is Addiction?
9.1.1. Understanding Addiction
9.1.2. Predisposed but Not Predestined
9.2. What to Expect
9.2.1. Life as an Addict
9.2.2. An Addict in the Family
9.2.3. Addiction Audit
9.3. Getting Back to Better Days
9.4. Action Steps
• If You’re the Addict
9.4.1. Find Your Personal Truth
9.4.2. Consult with an Expert
• If Your Loved One Is the Addict
9.4.3. Choose to Assist –But Not Enable – the Person You are Trying to Help
9.4.4. Set Up an Intervention
9.4.5. Set Your Team
9.4.6. Confront Factually, but with Love, Care and Concern
9.4.7. Remember That You Are Talking to the Drugs, Not the Person
9.4.8. Create a Crisis for the Troubled Person
9.4.9. Focus Only on Chemically Related Issues
9.4.10. Get a Commitment from the Addict to Go to Treatment or Be Prepared to Break Contract
9.4.11. Have a Firm, Immediate Plan
9.5. Final Thought


Chapter 10: Existential Crisis – The Day You Have Lost Your Purpose and Have No Answer to the Question “Why?”
10.1. What is an Existential Crisis?
10.1.1. So What Is the Answer? What Is It All About?
10.1.2. Living for – and in – the Moment
• Existential Crisis Audit
10.2. What to Expect
10.3. Getting Back to Better Days
10.3.1. If You want Meaning, Create Meaning
10.3.2. Now I Ask You, “Why Not?”
10.4. Final Thought


Chapter 11: The Next Step
11.1. The Continuity of Life
11.2. Looking Forward
11.2.1. The miracle of life
11.2.2. The miracle of love
11.2.3. The miracle of forgiveness
11.2.4. The miracle of beauty
11.2.5. The miracle of compassion
11.2.6. The miracle of healing
11.2.7. The miracle of awareness
11.2.8. Observe Your Own Life
11.3. The End… For Now

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